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【新奇趣聞】查克•羅禮士加勉!Toyota Tacoma化身全能戰士!



查克•羅禮士(Chuck Norris)應該是筆者父親的偶像,在耳濡目染下即便年代不同,他依然是筆者偶像!查克•羅禮士的黃金年代在80‘、90’年代,是功夫、硬漢、正義的化身,幾乎滿足所有男人的幻想(不是壞壞的幻想),特別的是,金髮碧眼的查克•羅禮士在螢幕上使用的空手道,而非自由搏擊,也因此擄獲不少東方影迷。如今,查克•羅禮士雖然偶爾還是會客串一下,在大螢幕出現,但基本上已經逐漸淡出影壇,即便如此他的人氣不減,還跟Toyota合作拍廣告,為旗下車款Tacoma站台,強調其粗獷、全能、耐操形象!

 

雖然有點太狂想,但也只能說黑人老兄實在太幸運!能在愛車上獲得查克•羅禮士親筆簽名,如果是筆者應該也會這麼做,然後立馬去鍍三層模,心靈馬力瞬間暴增300趴!看到超跑就挑戰!

 


「可以請大家幫筆者集氣嗎?我跟我老爸都會很開心的❤️」



2018-08-21 1:21 發佈
轉載

There was no atomic bomb explosion in Hiroshima, it was Chuck Norris
jumping out of the plane and punching the ground.
廣島從來沒被什麼原子彈炸過。是羅禮士跳下飛機,然後一拳轟在地上。


Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs
of life.
羅禮士曾經登陸過火星,這就是為什麼那裡沒有生命跡象。


Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage
to tell him yet.
其實羅禮士20年前就已經死了,只是死神還沒有足夠的勇氣去告訴他。


Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
羅禮士就是為什麼威力還躲著的原因。
(「威力在哪裡」的梗詳見此:http://ppt.cc/lfMy)


Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
死神曾經有過一次「瀕-羅禮士經驗」。


Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
羅禮士能夠關上一扇旋轉門。


Chuck Norris was denied auditioning for "Mission Impossible", for
obvious reasons.
電影「不可能的任務」劇組拒絕羅禮士去試演,原因很明顯。


Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies...... As The Force.
羅禮士在六部「星際大戰」電影中都有參與演出……他飾演「原力」。


Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly
foolish enough to attack him.
羅禮士不可能得到心臟病,他的心臟還沒笨到去攻擊他。
(heart attack雙關語)


When Chuck Norris was asked if he believed that the world was going
to end in 2012, he responded: "Depends how I'm feeling that day."
當有人問羅禮士相不相信2012年會世界末日,他回答「要看我那天心情好不好」。


Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
羅禮士可以摩擦兩塊冰塊來生火。


Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face.
We now have questions.
羅禮士有天遇到驚嘆號,並在它臉上揍了一拳。所以我們現在有了問號。


We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away
from Chuck Norris.
我們活在一個擴展中的宇宙。所有事物都在全力遠離羅禮士。


Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke...
that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
有一次羅禮士惡作劇尿尿在一輛貨櫃車的油箱裡…那部車後來變成我們熟知的柯博文。


Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets
the information he wants.
羅禮士從不讀書。他只是狠狠瞪著書本,直到書本給了他想要的資訊。


Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he is already following you.
羅禮士不使用推特…他已經在跟著你了。


If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off
with a warning.
如果羅禮士被逮到超速,他會開給鴿子一張警告然後讓他離開。


When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's
pushing the Earth down.
當羅禮士做伏地挺身的時候,他不是把自己撐起來,他是把地球壓下去。


Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game
of tennis.
羅禮士是地球上唯一在網球比賽中贏過一堵磚牆的男人。


Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his
soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second
Wednesday of the month.
羅禮士曾出賣過自己的靈魂給惡魔,以換取他的帥氣臉蛋以及和外表不相稱的高超
格鬥技術。當交易完成後不久,羅禮士給了惡魔一記迴旋踢並把自己的靈魂拿了回
來。惡魔出於一種奇妙的可笑心情而無法生氣,反而覺得自己早應該想到這點。他
們現在每個月的第二個星期三都一起打撲克牌。


Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
羅禮士不需要呼吸,他只是把氧氣當作人質。


Chuck Norris invented water.
查克羅禮士發明了水。


The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.
It failed miserably.
中國的長城原本是建來阻擋羅禮士的,而它很悲慘地失敗了。


If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris
has more money than you.
如果你有五塊錢,而羅禮士也有五塊錢,他有的錢比你多。


Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't
Jesus' birthday. Jesus was too scared to correct Chuck Norris and to
this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
羅禮士有次在12月25日寄了張生日卡給耶穌,而那不是耶穌的生日。耶穌太害怕了
而不敢糾正羅禮士,所以今天12月25日被大家認為是聖誕節。


Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is
afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
羅禮士睡覺時會開著小夜燈。不是因為羅禮士害怕黑暗,而是黑暗害怕羅禮士。


Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
羅禮士去漢堡王點了一個大麥克,而且他拿到了。


A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped
people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck
Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
殘障車位不是專門為了殘疾人士而設的。事實上它是在標明這是羅禮士的車位,而
如果你停在這裡,你會被他打成半殘。


Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
"beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wiseman, jealous
of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have
Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse
kick related deaths.
羅禮士其實是第四位賢者。他帶給耶穌寶寶的禮物是「大鬍子」,而耶穌終其一生
都很驕傲地戴著它。其他三位賢者因為嫉妒羅禮士的禮物得到耶穌最多的寵愛,而
發揮影響力刪去聖經中對羅禮士的記載。不久之後,他們三位都死於羅禮士的迴旋
踢之下。
ninjagtr2002 wrote:
轉載There wa...(恕刪)

什麼東東
超好笑~
艾咪 wrote:
查克•羅...(恕刪)

ninjagtr2002 wrote:
轉載
There was...(恕刪)

ninjagtr2002 wrote:
轉載There wa...(恕刪)


講這麼多,怎沒跟臺灣三寶戰一場?
碰到臺灣三寶,我看羅禮士也凶多吉少
每次看到羅禮士的哏,雖然看過好幾次,還是覺得超爆笑 XD

ninjagtr2002 wrote:
轉載There was...(恕刪)


大大這從哪裡轉載來的
有好笑有推

也順便幫艾咪大集氣
轉自 PTT,有大大整理翻譯的

羅禮士的梗收集不完,國外一堆鄉民集思廣益(?)持續創造中

Rilakkuma7 wrote:
大大這從哪裡轉載來...(恕刪)
ninjagtr2002 wrote:
轉自 PTT,有大大整理翻譯的

羅禮士的梗收集不完,國外一堆鄉民集思廣益(?)持續創造中


google查一下「Chuck Norris facts」,會有更多發現。


PS:
1.他曾在大銀幕上,跟李小龍對打過!

2.「羅禮士的真相」上過大螢幕喔!
在「浴血任務2」中,主角遭到圍攻。
路過的羅禮士只拿一把槍,就瞬間秒掉所有敵人,其中包括一台T-72坦克。
而且出場有專屬BGM !!

但接下來...
「我聽說你死了」
「我也聽說了」
「怎麼回事?」
「有隻眼鏡蛇咬了我。在經過3天的痛苦掙扎後....眼鏡蛇死了」
「......」
本人把「真相」講出來,實在是太好笑了
何絣絣 wrote: 講這麼多,怎沒跟臺灣三寶戰一場?
碰到臺灣三寶,我看羅禮士也凶多吉少




台灣其實本來有八寶,因為羅禮士,所以只剩三寶。
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